Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Class

I just returned from a woman's conference at my church.  The theme was Simply Joy. Basically it was finding many different ways that brought us joy. One class was titled Chocolate Chip Cookie and yes I attended.  We all love chocolate chip cookies, especially when they are still warm.  Yes they handed out chocolate chip cookies in class.  I had already made up my mind to turn the cookie down, but they ran out before they got to the back of the chapel. I also knew there were cookies and brownies for lunch and chose to stay away.  For me this was all a good choice.  I was in a good spot today.

In the Chocolate Chip Cookie class it was basically on things we have learned and been taught that bring us great joy. Some of it was related to food, some to outdoor activities, and some to learning a new hobby. Maybe something that was not our first choice, but once we got though the learning phase it was not so bad.   The point is, IT probably put us in a good spot of joy.  Remember how you feel when you get to that spot?  You feel like taking on the world because you know you can.

So it is with life.  We have to make choices.  Good choices are just as easy to make as bad choices - I think?  But it really depends on where we are at that moment. Notice I did not say life, but at that moment.  I believe there are some keys to have and be aware of to be in control of the choices at the moment.  If you are not in a "soft place" you are probably going to make some choices you will be kicking yourself for later.  A soft place is not being in turmoil, mad, upset, frustrated or out of control. It is that peaceful, warm safe feeling and you know if you needed to you could conquer the world.  Or at least what ever life throws at you at the moment.

So I thought about the things that I have learned that truly brought me joy.  I actually thought of one sitting in another class.  There are several, but the one that I think I will use as my soft place is learning I am loved in this life. Shortly afterward Candida's mother saw me and said, "Laura!!"  As she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug and kiss.  This is a lady I met at Christmas.  And it was truly the unconditional love of a mother. Someone confided to me today, she first felt unconditional love when she met her new mother in law.  In her home she was expected to be perfect and when she was not, they let her know.  So she felt like she was never good enough.  She like me had to learn to be loved in this life. This is my soft place.  The spot I can go back to when I need to feel safe.

My challenge to all of you is to find your "soft place".  That memory or place that you can go back to in your mind and know you are happy, completely safe and in control of you.  If I can remember to do this, maybe I can continue to strengthen my relationship with food and not let it be my crutch and escape. 

I have the No Sugar and No Soda thing licked, it is all the other stuff I still need the help with.

By the way, the reason it is called a "soft place" is because it that peaceful place.  Think about getting in an argument with yelling and screaming.  How different would that argument be if you conversed in a softer voice than one of anger and turmoil?  You can call it what ever you want but for me it is my "soft place".  And on that note I know there will be faced with treats tomorrow again.  But I am ready!!!


  1. Sorry I have been MIA the past week or so......I have been overwhelmed trying to catch up on a lot of work.
    I have enjoyed catching up on your blog. I recently had a soft was my crocheting. I say "had" because I used crocheting as my "therapy" after a long day. Then my daughter suggested I start selling my things on it has turned into work! I am still catching up on orders.I just received an email from a really good customer and apparently I have totally messed up one of her orders. I must have been REALLY tired that night! So now that soft spot has turned into being something stressful.

    Laura, I can relate to your soft spot.
    I married very an abuser.I can't refer to him as a man because males like him aren't men...they are whimps!
    Yelling and cursing were foreign to me growing up,so when he would go into a rage, I learned quickly what and what not to say or do. I'm sure growing up in an abusive home as a child and being in an abusive marriage have many similarities. With both, you are beaten down and made to feel totally worthless.You are told what to think, where to look,(yes, where to look), how to dress, who you can be friends with (if anyone), if you can wear makeup.....the list goes on and on.....your self confidence, your emotions and mostly your spirit is taken from from you...and as a child, your innocence goes with it.
    During those times,I too found comfort in listening to Osmond music. As bubblegum as it was, it put me in my "soft spot"....still does.I know you understand this. When there was turmoil in the house, I would put an Osmond album on for my three little girls to listen to. They are 34, 29 and 26 now and can still remember listening to the Osmond Family Christmas album when they would go to bed at night.I still have that album and it still brings me comfort!Friday nights watching the D&M Show was the highlight of my week. It took me to a happy place, away from reality.
    It has been 19 years since my divorce and I still haven't let go of the pain from being in an abusive relationship. I still find comfort in hearing any of the Osmonds sing.

    So I, like you Laura, find peace as being my soft spot as well!

  2. I have thought a lot about a soft spot.

    I used to find solace in performing but I damaged my voice and can no longer sing. It is the saddest thing when I lost that.

    Now with that said, I think that writing is my soft spot. I can complete lose my self and it relaxes me and brings me peace.

  3. @Rachel--Writing had done alot of healing for me so I totally understand. Sorry about the voice though.....I never could sing. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to take lessons and learn how.