This week I went into Walgreens and this little girl about 7 or 8 yelled, "Daddy look at the big fat ugly lady! She is so fat." I will admit it not only took me off guard, but knocked me back a few hundred steps. A child said this. And yes I know I have to remember she is just a child. When all the customers turned and stared, and then glanced away, I decided I was not going to run this time. I would stand there and take whatever was given to me. When nothing was said, I looked at the little girl and said, "I hope one day you can learn some manners." The father who originally glanced my way and then turned away, looked at me and then her, and said, "What did you say?" Did he not hear her the first time? Everyone else did? And then she repeated herself, grinning, "Look at that big fat ugly lady! She is so fat!" It was then he got after her and said "You do not say things like that to people." I thought that would be the end of it. But after they finished checking out, I was still standing there looking at the ad, and he came over and apologized for her. Or I thought. Then he made her come over and apologize. When he did that she got scared and began to cry. I took her hand and told her, "I just want you to know I am a girl like you are and that hurt my feelings." I gave her a hug, she was reluctant at first. But once again her father made her accept the hug. Her father then told me she has leukemia and that day was her first treatment.
Part of me felt bad that the situation turned into what it had, but at the same time I was tired of running. As I picked up my few items the cashier told me, "I think you handled that very well." Still it has been on my mind. Today a little girl came up to me and hugged me. Her name is Mei. Mei at one time told me, "You are too big!" I think most of the time parents just tune out what children say, because when I said, "You think I am too big?" "Yes" she said. Her parents got after her for the comment. I had Mei come to me so I could give her a hug. The one thing I have learned with children, is when they get in trouble because of me I want them to know I still like/love them. Now when I see Mei she comes running up and hugs me. I think it is that when they see someone who is so different than they are, they deal with it as they see others deal with it. Not always parents, but somewhere they have gotten this idea.
So with all that said, as Valentine's Day approaches tomorrow I have contemplated how to "celebrate". As an adult, Valentine's Day just comes and goes for me. I need to get out of this mood I am in and the only way I know how to get out of it is by serving. So I am thinking tomorrow I am going to go to the store and get Valentine treats for two different families. Just because I know it will make me feel better and feel more love, and that is what I need right now. I know that is being selfish in a way. But sometimes it is okay to be selfish. And that is how I think I am going to celebrate tomorrow. By giving to others.
So with all that said, I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day with your honey!!! Enjoy your chocolate and/or celebrations and let's get ready for Round 2!!! Thank you all for taking this journey with me!! I am going to try very hard to not have so many emotional ups and downs as I did this time!!