Still Here!!

I have been such a slacker this week in blogging!!!  I apologize ...but I am still off the sugar and soda.  How is everyone else doing?  This is a new week and a new me!!! 

Since I talk about Tiffany and Erika so much, this is us.  I hope you all have a partner to do this with!!  It makes such a difference!!

Me, Tiffany, Erika, Baby Jake and Cute Gabby!!!

Hugs and Loves Laura

How Do You Know When You're Full?

That is my question to all of you.  How do you know when you are full?  I wish I could stop at what I know I should stop at, but I don't.  I stop when it's gone. By that time I am sooo full and bloated it is only then I realize what I have done.  I am curious if this is just me or if it happens to others?

I have heard that when people have Gastric Bypass surgery done there is a "switch" or something that is usually missing for folks and part of the reason they overeat.  It also seems like there is a vitamin missing in you that does not send the information to your brain that says "STOP I AM FULL".  Has anyone else ever heard this?  I can't remember what it is called but I will continue to look and see if I can find it.

Thought it was interesting as I Googled "How do I know when I am full".  There were a variety of answers.  For the older generation (me) here are some things we used to hear:

1. There are starving children in Africa.  We had to clear our plates no matter how full or how nasty the food was.  In elementary school we used to have mashed potatoes, and hamburger gravy on top.  I remember one time I did not eat it, and was told I had to not only eat it but also clear my plate before I could go to recess.  It only took that once and never again did they (the lunch ladies) make me clean my plate and especially eat the nasty hamburger gravy.  Yep, I tossed it all up, all over them!!!  
2. Another thing was you were done eating when the TV program was over.  Ha Ha  Now imagine that being an hour long program compared to a 30 minute program.  How many of us have gone back during commercials for seconds.  Never thought about it till now but true.
3. You were done eating when someone else was done eating.  I see myself doing this one too. Going along with this, as a child my brothers ate first.  So if I wanted seconds, I had to eat fast!!  Ugh all those bad habits I have today.

Now that we have identified things that we associate with "we are full" how do we stop them.  Again as you can see they are HABITS!!!  Habits can be formed and they can be broken!!! 

1. Okay so the starving children n Africa, we know we can find other ways to help besides clean our plate.  
2. As for our TV Shows, DON'T EAT IN FRONT OF THE TV.  In my case it is the computer.  
3. This one will be a bit harder for me, BUT I know I simply have to slow down when I eat. I am not going to a fire!!!   Even after I left home and had roommates, I cannot begin to tell you the times I went to get something and it would be gone.  UGH!!  So if I did not eat it, someone else would!!!

STORY TIME

I have not done this in a long time, and this just reminded me of a story.  If I had a favorite meal it would be SPAGHETTI!!! I love SPAGHETTI!!!  How much do I love spaghetti? 

True story:  My mom had made spaghetti for dinner when I was little and lived in Texas.  My dad was a police officer and worked the night shift.  My dad would go to work after we went to bed, and was there when we got up in the morning.  My mom would often pack his lunch for him.  This night she thought she would heat up some spaghetti (this was before microwave ovens-see I told you I was old!). My mom sent us to bed and I think they must have gone to lay down as well and then get up when my Dad had to get up to get ready for work. My mom went to get the spaghetti to heat up and put in my Dad's thermos and there was no spaghetti.  The bowl and all was gone! She could not figure out what happened to the spaghetti!  My dad ended up with a cold bolonga sandwich instead.  In the morning my mom came in to wake me up and her words to me as she told me this story was:  "I could have killed you!!!" She walked in my room and found the missing spaghetti!!!  I had the bowl with me in bed.  But there was spaghetti all on me, my bed, bedding, floor, ceiling, even in the closet.  Don't ask me how it got on the ceiling and in the closet!!!  I have no idea how I did it when I was only about 6 years old.  I was creative even then!!  So you can see my love for spaghetti.

As I got on my own spaghetti became my special meal. It is always the first meal when I move into a new apartment.  And just for the record, if you have never tried a bit of mustard in your spaghetti sauce, you should.  Good stuff!!  This one particular time I made some spaghetti and had some leftovers for the next day.  Or so I thought. I had even frozen it so my roommates would not be tempted to eat it.  Yes we had "big mice" and food seemed to walk away.  Imagine my surprise to go and get my spaghetti and I found TWO BITES left!!!  When I questioned my roommates, no one had eaten it.  Finally one confessed she had "just tasted it".  From there it went down hill as she always had to have a "taste" which was never really a taste, and then she had to critique my cooking.  Ugh!!  No wonder I am so messed up with food.

Anyway.....back to the blog.  How do we know when we are full?  Or do we?  I stop when the food is gone.  What do all of you do?  I really need to change this with me!!!  Looking for ideas!!!

Thanks all!!!

Up and at 'Em!!!

Okay I figure since I have been moaning and groaning about Tiffany and Erika getting me walking and I vowed to not complain any longer, I needed to put on my BGP (Big Girl Panties) and up my game.  I was very proud of myself, I was at the store yesterday and did not buy CHIPS!! Yeaa Me.  But that was not upping my game enough!

One of my biggest fears (I tell myself) is falling when I am out walking.  Tiffany says, "So, we will pick you up!" They just won't let me use excuses of any kind.  Last Friday I took very very baby steps to get around the building and it really bothered me that a little three year old could walk faster than I could!  Today a friend posted pictures of hiking to the Delicate Arch and I would love to do that, but know I can't with these legs.  So I need to up my game!

I want to get my legs better, if I can get them better I can really progress on myself.  Every morning I wake up and my right arm I can feel is somewhat swollen.  When I get on the computer in the morning, sometimes my fingers begin to go numb that I need to stop and exercise them.  At the grocery store I often have to sit down and rest my feet as the right bottom goes a bit numb and bugs me.  Once I sit down for five minutes, it is fine.

I decided this morning I need to find out what is wrong with me. I Googled "poor circulation for body" and found an interesting article I thought I would share with all of you. The article is entitled  "How to Improve Circulation Naturally".

• Increase your water intake.  Everyone says, eight glasses of water a day but who has time to count.  If you get a 32 oz refillable cup and make sure you drink two of them a day, there will be your 64 oz.  I know there are different theories, but remember we are just looking to make changes.
• Add lemon to your diet.  Lemon contains citrate which is good for blood circulation.  Various ways to do this!!  But need to add lemon.
• Take a Multivitamin every day.  I do not do this but am going to start again.  I am awful at having good habits!!  Bad habits are so much easier to form!!!

Those three I thought were easy things I could do right away and change to begin making good habits.  Here are some other tips that were listed:

• Follow a healthy diet plan.  I have a hard time with the word DIET....I need a life style change.  However it did say to limit your intake of sugar, alcohol, sodium, and caffeine.  Yeaaa us!!!
• Exercise, yes we all know we need to get moving more!  Snoopy Dance everyone!!!
• Apply heat to your body to help the blood flow move.
• Get a foot massage " Visit a local spa or salon and have someone massage the reflex point on the bottom of each foot. This helps to increase blood flow to the various organs in your body".

Yes it really said to get a foot massage!!!  You think that can be done with health insurance?  <g>

Here is the link to the entire article How to Improve Circulation Naturally  (interesting read).  I am going to do the things in the first group and work on the ones in the second group.

I would love to know for any who try these if they make a difference for them.  I am going to start them as well and report back if I feel better.  We are starting on week two everyone!!!  Hang in there with everything you are doing!!!  Now let's get up and Snoopy Dance!!! (Your aerobic exercise for the day!!)

Revamping Life.....

Is it really ONLY day 4 of the No Sugar, No Soda challenge?  It seems like it has been a month and we should be on the downhill side of it!!  Yes it has been one of those weeks again that I am getting quite tired of.  It seems like it is week after week after week of this.

Today "my girls" Tiffany and Erika dragged me out to go walking AGAIN!!!  It was spitting rain and I really didn't want to go.  Erika reminded me since I don't have any sugar in me, I would not melt!  So we walked around the building, baby step by baby step for me. It was odd, just this morning I felt so puffy and thought I needed to get rid of this puffiness and thought about trying to eliminate salt from my diet as well as the sugar and soda.  I know that leaves very little to eat.  Actually maybe I will eat what I am supposed to eat!  Ha

As we were walking Tiffany said I am going to be your back seat driver (I think is what she called herself) and said, "We need to eliminate salt from our diet."  How weird that I had just thought the same thing this morning before we walked.  So with that on my mind, from walking I went to yet another staffing agency interview. I had some small hopes of maybe getting interviewed for a REAL JOB....but no that did not happen.  That has been the story lately.

Anyway, it was so hard for me to walk and I admit shed more tears than I have recently.  The rain and humidity makes my hair look as though I have not brushed it in a month.  It was just a rough day AGAIN.  Then I was on a wild goose chase for a package (I did not order - another story) and on my way home I stopped at the Family History Center to work on my community service.  Yes I have community service.

In December I was stopped and presented two gift certificates (tickets) from the Williamson County Sheriff.  I was told I was stopped for not coming to a complete three second stop at the stop sign.  Sorry about that, it was only 2 1/2 seconds!!  But that is not what the tickets were for.  One was for letting my registration expire the day before the other was for having a Utah Driver's license.  Because with no job or money to pay the ticket I was giving 15 hours of community service.  Where?  In the Family History Center where I love to be!!!

So here is my problem and why I need to revamp my life.  First of all I feel guilty for doing community service for the Family History Center, even though I know we service much of the community there. Everyone else has said, "What a great blessing" and I tell myself, "I don't deserve this." I feel as though I deserve to be put on display somewhere being laughed at and mocked. I was trying to figure out why I felt like this and it keeps going back to all the inside crap I keep carrying around with me.  I feel as though I have tried "everything" to rid myself of it.  Maybe I have not tried hard enough?  Maybe I am missing something?

Even though I can leave the sugar and soda alone, I still find myself reaching for food (any food) when I get stressed.  But I am going to work very hard on cutting back on the salt starting with the chips. So as far as revamping my life here is what I am going to try and do. You all also have my permission to call me on something I slip up on:

1. Stop my complaining period!  I need to look at each day as a blessing and not burdens!
2. Keep staying away from the sugar and soda.
3. Keep not eating in my car (I am failing at this miserably!!)
4. Drink at least 64 oz of water a day.
5. Write down all I eat.  How do you all do this?  I do not have an Iphone so that is out.  Any ideas?
6. Continue to walk 3 times a week, but really need to step it up to twice around the building instead of once.
7. I need to learn how to LOVE MYSELF!!

I hope all of you have a partner you can do all this with.  I do not know what I would do if I did not have Erika and Tiffany.  One of the problems I have is that whether I want to admit it or not, I have a hard time accepting the fact that people love me and want to help me.  I hear the words, and know they care.  But inside of me I ask myself  "Why does anyone care?"  Soooo hard!!!  Harder than leaving a stupid piece of chocolate alone.

I recently came across a quote that I liked and thought I would share here.

"Life is lived forward, but understood backwards." 

I do understand so much more now than I ever have.  I know that all of the garbage in me is from years of abuse by others and myself.  I just need to find the key to unlock the door and straighten it all out.

So there you go....my last pity party and why I have been absent the last few days.  I am still here and still am going to do this to the best of my ability!!!  Sorry for dumping on you all again!!! 
How is everyone else doing?



 

Phase II -- Here We Go Again !!

So here we are back at Day 1 again with new a new goal!!  We are going to go through Easter which is April 24, 2011 in the US.  If my calculations are correct we are on No Sugar, No Soda for 69 Days!!!!  Whew!!!  But I know we all can do this again!!!

For me I was a bit afraid I would not be able to go back to having No Sugar, No Soda after having it for one day. Today, though I have been just fine.  Maybe it is knowing that it will be there tomorrow and the next day and I don't have to have it all right now.  I really think though it is having to answer to all of you!!!

Now that we have all been through this once, I thought maybe we could step it up a bit (if you want).  Remember the three baby steps we were going to do before as our goals along with the No Sugar, No Soda?  I thought we could start them earlier in this process and maybe we might be more successful on them.  I know I failed miserably!!!  LOL  Kathy calls them "The Power of Three Checklist".  So here are my three again and this time I am going to do them!!!  Okay so math is not one of my strong points, I added a fourth to mine.  Ha Ha

1) Go Walking three times a week (you all need a friend like Erika!!  She keeps me going!)
2) Get in the habit of writing everyday what I eat and my feelings for the day.
3) Do not in the car while driving.  Big one of mine.  Bad me!
4) Drink water, water, water!!  I have a two quart bottle I try to down at least once a day.
 
This has been an interesting day and yes I know it is only Tuesday. I mentioned yesterday I had to go take care of a ticket.  Then today I had an interview with a staffing agency, but when I got there on the window next to the door was a sign that read:  "NO TRESPASSING!  THE POLICE HAVE BEEN INFORMED!"

My first thought was, "don't tell me they have shut down this office since yesterday!!"  I peaked in the window and it looked like it was still  open, the door was unlocked and I went inside.  I rang the bell to get the attention of someone and after several minutes someone finally came out.  Then I waited several more minutes before being taken back for my interview.  The first thing I was told was, "I am sorry to tell you this, but the position I talked to you yesterday about is not longer available but I did not cancel because I still wanted to interview you.  After going through a 30 minute interview, I asked what positions were available and she said, "None".  I felt as though I was going to be sent on my way, but stuck my foot out and asked to fill out paper work so I would not have to come back.  It was 20 miles one way.

Through this all I was a bit ticked because once again I felt it was a waste of time and here someone was making me jump through hoops for show.  It is frustrating.  Since getting home I have listened to a young man's commencement speech who has 90% hearing loss.  It reminded me, "Laura what do you have to complain about?"  So with this new beginning on another journey of No Sugar, No Soda  I am going to look for the positive things in life and on this journey and not complain so much.  We all know how to do that (complain) most of us probably don't need help in that department.  I am going to stand a little taller, and be a little stronger and step it up this go around.

Those pounds I want to lose this year are not going to just say one day, "Here you go Laura we are going to run away today" no. I am going to have to work for every ounce there is.  So all I am asking you all to do, is be a little stronger this go around!!  Good Luck  I know ya'all can do it!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

After much thought and consideration, I too decided to take a break from the No Sugar, No Soda and enjoy today!!! Yes I indulged in some chocolate. Let me show you....Okay I didn't have 8, I had two.  But I decided to do it for a couple of reasons. 

First of all I did it for me and no one else.  Why?  Because I had to remind myself this was my challenge and no one else's.  When I even began to THINK about having a donut I felt so much opposition come at me.  It made me crazy.  On my way home from a hearing on my ticket (long story) I was going to head to the store and get a few things to make some goody bags for some friends.  Then I remembered, this was our FREE DAY....if I wanted to have sugar, this was the day.  And only one, not an all day sugar feast.  That is when I remembered I was by Round Rock Donuts and somehow my car just magically turned to go.   I must admit, they were tastie but not something I could eat everyday.  So today was sufficient. 

The second reason I did this, I want to see if I can go in challenges as we did, and pick up my no sugar again till the next goal.  I have set my mind to do this. Before when I tried this, I couldn't do it BECAUSE I was not committed to my goal as I am this time.  As I have said before, I could never do this with out all of you!!! 

Whether you know it or not, by sharing your stories you help all of us.  I can tell you as someone who has lived in an obese body, society and life is less than fair with us.  We have to grow thick skin in order to survive and tolerate just to survive sometimes. And though we my have a brave face on the outside, inside we must strive everyday to not let our hearts become harden because of this. 

A few years ago I went and supported a friend who was in an AIDS bike ride.  I was "cautioned" and "counseled" I should not go because that meant I was supporting what AIDS stood for.  I shared the story of my friend I was going to support, but still his answer was, "Well I am just telling you if I was in this position I would not go."  When I asked him, "Why?" His answer was, "Because of the way I live my life I will never have to worry about AIDS."  It was that comment that confirmed to me I needed to go!!!  I am so glad I did.  Because as I sat at the closing ceremonies and heard who the riders were riding for, and heard the stories I realized the ride was not about AIDS.  It was for every person who had a passion and a fight for a cause in them. So many people I met touched my life forever with their stories. 

Obesity and abuse will always be my fights.  It has made me who I am.  Through it all I have had to learn to develop that tough skin, to forgive,  and to love.  But now instead of getting mad all the time I try to find a way to teach with love.  That is what I am going to do today.  Two little girls yesterday just made my day at church.  So today I will let their families know how much I appreciated them.  That is how I will spend Valentine's Day.

How about all of you?  Are you ready for a new challenge tomorrow?

Party Time!!

First of all I want to say thank you to all who have joined and shared their comments, challenges, ups and downs and support with all of us.  These last two weeks have been very challenging for me.  Haven't I said that before?  It just seems ever week becomes more and more challenging. 

This week I went into Walgreens and this little girl about 7 or 8 yelled, "Daddy look at the big fat ugly lady!  She is so fat."  I will admit it not only took me off guard, but knocked me back a few hundred steps.  A child said this.  And yes I know I have to remember she is just a child.  When all the customers turned and stared, and then glanced away, I decided I was not going to run this time.  I would stand there and take whatever was given to me. When nothing was said, I looked at the little girl and said, "I hope one day you can learn some manners."  The father who originally glanced my way and then turned away, looked at me and then her, and said, "What did you say?"  Did he not hear her the first time?  Everyone else did?  And then she repeated herself, grinning, "Look at that big fat ugly lady! She is so fat!"  It was then he got after her and said "You do not say things like that to people."  I thought that would be the end of it. But after they finished checking out, I was still standing there looking at the ad, and he came over and apologized for her. Or I thought.  Then he made her come over and apologize.  When he did that she got scared and began to cry.  I took her hand and told her, "I just want you to know I am a girl like you are and that hurt my feelings."  I gave her a hug, she was reluctant at first.  But once again her father made her accept the hug.  Her father then told me she has leukemia and that day was her first treatment.

Part of me felt bad that the situation turned into what it had, but at the same time I was tired of running.  As I picked up my few items the cashier told me, "I think you handled that very well."  Still it has been on my mind.  Today a little girl came up to me and hugged me. Her name is Mei. Mei at one time told me, "You are too big!" I think most of the time parents just tune out what children say, because when I said, "You think I am too big?"  "Yes" she said.  Her parents got after her for the comment.  I had Mei come to me so I could give her a hug. The one thing I have learned with children, is when they get in trouble because of me I want them to know I still like/love them.  Now when I see Mei she comes running up and hugs me.  I think it is that when they see someone who is so different than they are, they deal with it as they see others deal with it.  Not always parents, but somewhere they have gotten this idea.

So with all that said, as Valentine's Day approaches tomorrow I have contemplated how to "celebrate".  As an adult, Valentine's Day just comes and goes for me. I need to get out of this mood I am in and the only way I know how to get out of it is by serving.  So I am thinking tomorrow I am going to go to the store and get Valentine treats for two different families.  Just because I know it will make me feel better and feel more love, and that is what I need right now.  I know that is being selfish in a way.  But sometimes it is okay to be selfish.  And that is how I think I am going to celebrate tomorrow.  By giving to others.

So with all that said, I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day with your honey!!!  Enjoy your chocolate and/or celebrations and let's get ready for Round 2!!!  Thank you all for taking this journey with me!!  I am going to try very hard to not have so many emotional ups and downs as I did this time!! 

CONGRATS!!  WE DID IT!!