The Chocolate Chip Cookie Class

I just returned from a woman's conference at my church.  The theme was Simply Joy. Basically it was finding many different ways that brought us joy. One class was titled Chocolate Chip Cookie and yes I attended.  We all love chocolate chip cookies, especially when they are still warm.  Yes they handed out chocolate chip cookies in class.  I had already made up my mind to turn the cookie down, but they ran out before they got to the back of the chapel. I also knew there were cookies and brownies for lunch and chose to stay away.  For me this was all a good choice.  I was in a good spot today.

In the Chocolate Chip Cookie class it was basically on things we have learned and been taught that bring us great joy. Some of it was related to food, some to outdoor activities, and some to learning a new hobby. Maybe something that was not our first choice, but once we got though the learning phase it was not so bad.   The point is, IT probably put us in a good spot of joy.  Remember how you feel when you get to that spot?  You feel like taking on the world because you know you can.

So it is with life.  We have to make choices.  Good choices are just as easy to make as bad choices - I think?  But it really depends on where we are at that moment. Notice I did not say life, but at that moment.  I believe there are some keys to have and be aware of to be in control of the choices at the moment.  If you are not in a "soft place" you are probably going to make some choices you will be kicking yourself for later.  A soft place is not being in turmoil, mad, upset, frustrated or out of control. It is that peaceful, warm safe feeling and you know if you needed to you could conquer the world.  Or at least what ever life throws at you at the moment.

So I thought about the things that I have learned that truly brought me joy.  I actually thought of one sitting in another class.  There are several, but the one that I think I will use as my soft place is learning I am loved in this life. Shortly afterward Candida's mother saw me and said, "Laura!!"  As she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug and kiss.  This is a lady I met at Christmas.  And it was truly the unconditional love of a mother. Someone confided to me today, she first felt unconditional love when she met her new mother in law.  In her home she was expected to be perfect and when she was not, they let her know.  So she felt like she was never good enough.  She like me had to learn to be loved in this life. This is my soft place.  The spot I can go back to when I need to feel safe.

My challenge to all of you is to find your "soft place".  That memory or place that you can go back to in your mind and know you are happy, completely safe and in control of you.  If I can remember to do this, maybe I can continue to strengthen my relationship with food and not let it be my crutch and escape. 

I have the No Sugar and No Soda thing licked, it is all the other stuff I still need the help with.

By the way, the reason it is called a "soft place" is because it that peaceful place.  Think about getting in an argument with yelling and screaming.  How different would that argument be if you conversed in a softer voice than one of anger and turmoil?  You can call it what ever you want but for me it is my "soft place".  And on that note I know there will be faced with treats tomorrow again.  But I am ready!!!

Sabotaging Ourselves-Do We Do It?

Sorry for the no blogging yesterday but I had to figure out a few things. The writing would just not come last night. My blog from Wednesday mentioned how I went into a tailspin and indulged on a few things.  So let me backup a bit.

Those that have been reading this blog know that this whole No Sugar No Soda thing is more than what we put in our mouths, it is more about why we do what we do and how we can break those habits.  This week a couple of things have come to light that just overwhelmed me and stressed me out.  It started out with a bad thing, then a good thing, then frustration, then to my breaking point I didn't know which way to go anymore.

Let me just preface this by all that have ever had parents I admire you and am a bit jealous.  I don't remember if I have shared this before here and when I think it is all behind me, I realize it is not.  My parents divorced when I was 7 and I always felt I was thrown to the wolves.  I never had a relationship with my Dad and I did try, and my mom and I, well there was always a barrier between us.  So although we each have two people who brought us into this world, and I know they are called my mom and dad, they are by no means the parents they should have been or who taught me the things I needed to know about life.  I have also learned because of their upbringing and past, they passed on to me only what they knew and probably felt comfortable in.  Funny thing though, I am a bit stubborn so it was never enough for me, I wanted more out of  life.

With that said, on Sunday afternoon I received an email from an Aunt I have just connected with.  It has been fun getting to know each other. My aunt is from Michigan where we spent many summers but I never met. We exchanged a few emails on Saturday night when the Osmonds came up.  I thought "hmm....maybe I should share my story with her."  So I did.  On Sunday afternoon I received an email from her that said, "WOW!!  Now it all makes sense.  The story I heard was that you ran away from home and joined a cult."  I broke down and cried. I did not run away from home and join a cult, and although I have shared this before, here it is again:  Laura's Journey  But then I remembered all the good things in my life and all the people I had found in my genealogical research and got on my knees and thanked my Heavenly Father for my blessings.....because  I do know I have many. 

Even though I thought I was through that and okay, on Tuesday my friend agreed to help me edit my book I am working on.  This book has been a part of me since 2002 and been very therapeutic for my whole healing process. It was not until Wednesday as we sat down to work on the first chapter the anxiety started to affect me.  This is something that happens to good people I thought, and  I am not good enough.  After our editing session we worked on some of her genealogy which was good for me.  It put me in my safe spot and again thought I was okay.  Then I went in search of an AC Adapter for my computer.

My adapter has a mind of it's own and sometimes it will work and sometimes it will not.  I live off my computer so I need it to work.  When I went to a Battery Plus shop, it had closed down.  UGH  Then coming home I freaked out. I bought a bag of sugar free candy, a bag of Munchos and a bag of Chex mix. and yes I ate it all!!!  On Thursday morning I had no energy, felt sluggish like I could hardly move.  I did not want to do anything. Finally at 12:30 I ate something, took a nap and was able to make it to my genealogical meeting Thursday night.

Last night as I was trying to write my blog, and I couldn't.  It then dawned on me what I had done to myself.  I sabotaged myself.  Why though?  The good things are surely outweighing the bad so why did I do this to myself?  I did some research saw the reasons others sabotage us.  Our lives change and so we get more attention that can often make friends or spouses jealous. As I continue to grow as a person I can see this  happening to me and it scares me.  I am doing this to myself.  It is not my friends it is me.  It is hard to really leave me, the old me behind.  We have been partners for a very long time and the only person I knew I could trust.  Now I have found others who I also know I can trust and I think a part of the inner me is getting a tad bit jealous.  There was a thought I noticed in the fall that said, "When you are reluctant to change, think of the beauty of Autumn." 

So why did I do all this to myself? Is it just because I am scared or is there something more I have not discovered yet? Either way the choices I made on Wednesday night was not worth the pain and torture I put myself through for two days.  Yet I know that whatever comes at me, I can handle and deal with I may just stumble a bit.

I am wondering if any of you see this in your own lives and not so much with friends and spouses but with your own self?  Have you found a way to work through it? I think for me I need to get regularity into my life.  With no job, it is hard to not stick to a routine.  I do have things I am doing and places I need to be, but I have no set routine but very few time frames..  Does that make sense? 

So I am curious, what does everyone else do or what you do if you were me? 

The Fight For Our Lives

Every Wednesday morning I look forward to watching the Biggest Loser online from the Tuesday night airing.  I do not have a TV so that takes away my excuse of sitting down and watching TV for hours straight.  I don't want to be on the Biggest Loser because I don't like the Bob and Jillian yell at the contestants.  But I gain alot from the show by the stories that are share and other things.  This week a few things struck me.

1- You have to have your mind and heart in it, the weight loss will come.  It has to be YOUR decision to lose weight.  I have mixed emotions over Dan leaving last night.  Part of me just wants to say LOSER!!  He couldn't stick it out for his family, and there are so many others who want to be on that show.  But at the end when it showed how much weight he had lost, and his little girl, he is making progress and that is the important thing.  Maddie will now have her dad with her for a bit longer.  I love how she rode her scooter beside him as he jogged.  Obviously he is doing something right.

2 - We are in a battle for our lives....I think Rulon Gardner said this.  I remember watching Rulon Gardner winning his Gold Medal in the Olympics.  I was very much into the Olympics, anxiously awaiting for Salt Lake City to have their turn as Welcoming the World.  I also remember his snow mobile accident and the plane crash.  But you always think the people you admire for their victories will always be victorious. Rulon has a lot of stuff to deal with.  Expectations of what others now think of him, his family, career, and to come back to a place in glory he has been before.  One thing I noticed about Rulon was his heart.  His heart and mind are in the right place and I believe he is going to win his battle.

3- Obesity is a disease like cancer and must be treated aggressively as so.  Obesity is like cancer.  WOW!!  That struck a chord with me.  I think of all those I have know who have had cancer, those who survived and those who lost their battles.  How?  They didn't give up-I don't think anyway, but they lost their battle. Or did they?

So all this has put me in a mind set of where all this started with me and where I want to go.  I always used to be fairly active.  I could keep up with my friends and exercise. However, I have always been overweight.  It really all started I think one day when I did not feel well.  I had just started a new job and knew I could not miss.  That morning I woke up with chills, got in the shower and could not get warm.  I went to work anyway.  My manager seeing me said, "You look like crap!" I said, "Thanks I feel like crap!"  She said, "No something is wrong and you need to go to the doctor."  I didn't have a doctor and she told me to go see hers.  She made me go.  Long story short, I had a virus running through my body.  I was given some antibiotics and the next day my legs were as red as a stop sign and almost too hot to touch. I went back to the doctor and I got a double shot in my hip to help battle the virus.  That was the beginning of my immune system I feel going down hill.

When I began to write this in the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself and the day.  Then a series of events tailspinned me into frustration and now I feel as though I have taken about five steps backwards. No Sugar and No Soda, but as was mentioned earlier, I went with my replacement food--chips. I need to get my head back in this and work on rebuilding my body, but I am emotionally exhausted from the day. So now I think it is time to call it a night as tomorrow is another day!!

So where are we with the fight for out lives?

How to Say No to Soda

First of all to all who have been doing this now for EIGHTEEN Days!! Congratulations!!! But I know there are those who want to do this but can't seem to get a hold on actually quitting soda for our challenge. I did a bit of research and found some interesting things that might help us all.

1- Remember this is a challenge and there is an end in sight. Now remember all we are trying to do is break the habits and mix them up a bit.

2- Why do you want to quit soda? Is it the challenge? Is it to lose weight? To get healthy? For me the first time it was to prove to someone I was not addicted to sugar. I lost. But whatever the reason, find the reason that is going to help you stay motivated when the temptations are hard.

3- Do you have sodas stashed in the house for your family? Get rid of them or put them somewhere you would need to go work to get to them. Whether it be in the trunk of your car, in a locked fridge and you have no key.....you need to get rid of them.

4- Find a replacement for your soda. I know many don't like water, it is too bland. Lemon and lime are not enough for me. I do buy the flavored waters and have one occasionally. But I do find like other things, I need to limit myself with them. By the way, these are usually much cheaper than a soda also. I can buy a bottle twice the size of a soda for fifty cents, compared to 1.59 for a 12 oz bottle of Sprite.

5- Do you keep track of how much you are drinking? I think with not only your soda if you are still trying to kick the habit, but also water. You can then see how much you are drinking and try to cut back little by little until you reach your goal.

6- Carry a water bottle with you? I know this seems like a pain, but I have found this to be helpful. I always have water in my car and with me. Funny story, one day at church in Relief Society I got into a coughing fit, and one of my friends who is also a mother of two young girls wiped off the top of her daughters sippy cup and offered it to me for a drink. I was glad I had my bottle of water with me!! I did appreciate the thought although it made me giggle.

7- Are you sleeping enough? I have been battling my sleep patterns lately. We all think we can go on less than 8 hours of sleep a night. For me I do best on 8 hours of sleep and when I don't get it, I seem to just exist through out the day. I don't feel as productive or alert as I do when I do get my 8 hours of sleep. Sleeping also affect your weight loss by your hunger patterns. I have been working on a blog for this very thing and will try to polish it up and post it this week.

8- Keep Trying--PERSEVERE!!! If you are experiencing withdrawl symptoms like headaches, shakiness, anxiety, cravings, insomnia, or turmoil that you have never noticed before. Push through them, they will lessen as the time goes on.

If you have other ideas you are doing or have tried that has worked for you, please share them with all of us!!! Thanks again for doing this with me!!!  Just remember you only fail when you quit trying!!!

Winter Blah's?

Have you ever noticed when it is winter time how we tend to stay in and kind of hibernate?  There is nothing better than curling up with a good movie, or a good book and a mound of food!!!  My old preference would be a bag of Peanut M&M's and when the bag was done I was done.  Someone had mentioned it was the winter blahs that was getting them down and not controlling their eating.  That is easy to do.  Here in Texas we have had rain for three days, and this afternoon it finally eased up.  But I can tell you when it is dark and gloomy it is hard to get motivated to do much.  So I got to thinking, what can we do to break our traditional habits of winter so all our hard work does not go to waste. 

First of all did you know there are Winter fruits and vegetables?  There are and here is a list:

	Bananas Blood Oranges Clementines Cranberries Grapes (Red) Grapefruits Kiwi	Kumquat Oranges Passion Fruit Pears Persimmons Pomegranates Pummelo	Rhubarb Satsuma Oranges Tangelo Tangerine Ugli Fruit

To read more about these fruits see Winter Fruit at Foodfit.com

Artichokes Avocado Bok Choy Broccoli Broccoli Rabe Brussels Sprouts Cabbage Cauliflower

Celery Root Chestnuts Jerusalem Artichokes Kale Lettuce Parsnips Radishes

Rhubarb Rutabaga Salsify Snow Peas Squash (Winter) Sweet Potatoes Turnips (White) Watercress

To read more about these fruits see Winter Vegetables at Foodfit.com

I have seen others mention the winter blahs.  What do you do to help fight those winter blues?  How do you turn those gloomy days into brighter days to keep your spirits and motivation up?  Please share your ideas!!!

Getting Healthy--All The Way!!

Much has been on my mind this week. One day I slept in until 8:30 and thought what is up with that!  You all heard about the scale escapade!  For me I know this is all a mind game and I am trying so hard to get my mind in the right spot and learn to eat better than I have in the past.  Last night I got an email from someone I did not know.  I opened it because it had an ancestor's name on the subject line.  Conversing back and forth with Dana sent a million emotions through me.  

Uncle Lee

I have shared some of my stories here so you can catch a glimpse into my past.  To make a long story short, I found out just this past year a great uncle had two marriages. You are probably asking, "What's the big deal Laura?"  If you are doing genealogy it becomes a VERY BIG DEAL.  It usually unlocks answers and helps you bust through brick walls you never thought you would get through.  My grandfather's family was just that, a solid brick wall.  It wasn't until I started researching his siblings that answers began to unravel.  With my Uncle Lee I found a document that he was married to Lizzie Westbrook.  My first thought was that is not his wife, then realized he had two marriages.  When I found the marriage record, the book opened to the page their record was located.  Anyway, I blogged about it and last night someone found that blog and contacted me. Dana's friends are his descendants. So once again here were cousins I had never met, never even knew  existed and we are connecting.  It is the same story it seems over and over again with me.  But then this afternoon I had an email from my aunt-an aunt I just recently connected with in the last month.  She told me what she had heard of me leaving home.  I had run away and joined a cult. Just for the record, that is not true!!  If you want to read my story, here is a link to Kathy's Blog-Laura's Journey (sorry if I have shared it before). I will admit, I broke down and cried and cried, BUT I didn't go for food.  I let the emotion and the pain come out.  And then I went to my stress reliever which is writing.

I think more anything I saw something today that was both in me and my mom--we both ran from the hurt and pain inside us. For me I took most of my comfort in food. Today a friend sat next to me in church.  She is someone I have come to love a great deal, because she was the one who said, Say it!  Say it!  Tell yourself you love yourself!  Today I felt like I could be there for her, little did I know her love and support would help me get through an email that was so painful.  Through it all I see myself getting healthy step by step.

Some of you have said, they do not see the pounds coming off yet. I have also heard you are replacing the sugar and soda with other things.  I do that too.  But today I decided it was okay if I did that sometimes, because I was breaking habits and cutting back in small ways.  And it is all those small things that will begin to add up to big things.

Kathys' blog a few days ago had some excellent ways to cut back on things and I wanted to share them with all of you. For those who follow Kathy's Blog....it's a repeat but knowledge is power right and the more ingrained into us, then the better off we will be. You can skip to the bottom if you would like.  Here is the list of ways to cut back:
 
1.   Serve dinner on a 9 or 10 inch plate (you'll eat up to 22 percent less).
2.   Serve popcorn in a small bucket instead of a huge bucket (you'll eat 34 percent more if popcorn is given in a very huge bucket).
3.   Use tall, thin glasses instead of short, wide ones (you'll pour 29 percent less).
4.   Store all your snacks in small single-serving food-storage bags (you'll eat up to 20 percent less).
5.   Keep the main serving dishes on the stove or counter (you'll eat 19 percent less than if you kept the food on the table).
6.   Move potato chips to the back of the pantry. (I buy the $1 bags or so and when they are gone they are gone. I don't buy the huge bags!)
7.   Include a fruit and vegetable with your lunch and dinner.
8.   Don't eat white foods at dinner.
9.   Use the half-plate rule (fill half your plate with salad or veggies).
10. Have a sweet or salty afternoon snack only if you first eat a piece of fresh fruit.
11. Drink one glass of water before every meal or snack.
12. Use the Restaurant Rule of Two: Limit yourself to two items other than your entree.
13. Never eat in front of the TV. (My problem is my car!!!)
14. Eat a piece of fruit on the way to work every day.
15. Freeze half of what you make, and serve the other half.
16. Save desserts for weekends. 

This article was written by Brian Wansink who is the director of the Cornell University Food and Brand Lab and author of Mindless Eating.

I think there are some good ideas in here.  I like the smaller plate idea.  Last year I would get a burger and salad. Now I know that sounds like it is not healthy, BUT I didn't have seconds and leftovers and it really helped me to cut down on my appetite.  I am trying to have a salad every day, I have a 64 oz bottle I fill with water I try to drink every day.  There are many ways we can take these and incorporate them into our own plans.  Because I don't eat sweets, I think I am going to take it and apply it for pasta one day a week.  I do love a good plate of spaghetti!!!  Just remember if it doesn't work the first time, don't give up!!  This week is going to be a better week for me and you!!!  

Here is to more healthier us!!! We all can do this!!!

Happy 1/3 of the Way Eve...

to No Sugar, No Soda Valentine's Journey!!

Oh if only it was this easy!

Do you know what today is?  It is 1/3 of the way eve, No Sugar, No Soda to Valentine's Day!!!  Tomorrow when most of you will probably be reading this it will be January 15, 2011 and you would have been following this crazy idea of No Sugar, No Soda for 15 days.  You thought you could not even do it for one day!!!  Yea for all of you!!!  I know there are those that are struggling, but I think in some ways we all are.  For me, not so much with the whole sugar and soda thing because as Kathy brought to my attention (Gee Thanks Kathy!!!  <g>  Hugs) just because you give up one thing does not mean you can eat whatever you want.  And yes that is what I did.  As I stated yesterday, it is all a learning process.  I feel for me, it is more to break habits and addictions than anything.  I know what I SHOULD be eating, but other things just seem more appetizing.  And yet, when I eat them was it really all worth it?

One thing I have noticed is that I don't snack or munch as much as I used to.  Part of it is because I don't have it with me to munch on.  But trust me when I do, I EAT IT ALL (see yesterday blog about Strawberry Cremes).  Tonight my choices for dinner were: have a sandwich ( I really wasn't in the mood for one), have a pizza (I really wanted a pizza and so Pizza Hut was on my mind), or go to the store.  I drank some water, and didn't feel as hungry but still needed to eat.  Then I spotted it!!  A small can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti I picked up the other day to see if I liked it. So I tried it and it was okay, but probably not a staple on my shopping list.

The first thing I thought when I began to eat it was tomato sauce and tomato sauce.  Both Pizza and Spaghetti have a tomato saucy part of it so I was hoping it would fill me up enough tonight so I would not think about the pizza. Well, it did something! I am okay with not going to get a pizza or heading to the store tonight. For me this is all a mind game, and I have got to keep telling myself and tricking myself how to go about all this.  I know if I even let myself "slip" once and have a small piece of candy I am a GONER.

When Kathy found some good stuff in the AARP Magazine (ha ha it pays to get old!! I am saying ME not you Kathy) I had to check out their site and found something interesting on how to cut calories.

1.  Don't drink a calorie, eat one!!  Loved this!!!  Instead of having Apple Juice or Orange Juice eat an apple or an orange.
2.  Drink a glass of water when you are hungry.  I try to do this, because I have heard if you are hungry it could mean you are really just thirsty.
3. Rehydrate with water.  Yeah we all kind of know that!!!
4. Eat regularly.  Yeah we kind of know that too.
5. Replace oil with applesauce when baking.  According to ehow.com you substitute straight across the board.  So if the recipe calls for 1/2 cup Oil, use 1/2 cup Applesauce instead.  Also this is for oil based substitutes, not for butter or margarine.  Oil is considered a liquid, butter and margarine are not. (That is what the article said.  I am just the messenger not the Sugar or Recipe Police!!!)

I really liked the first two ideas and am going to put them to use for me. It is amazing sometimes how we forget that all those little things add up to big things.  And because I am doing a lot of little things, I hope it results in the big thing which is a smaller me and a healthier me.  It's hard.  I remember a story I heard and try to remember when my road seems so long and there is no end in site.  If you are driving from California to New York at night, you need to use your headlights.  You may only see a couple hundred feet in front of you at a time, but you know if you keep on that path eventually you will get to NY.  So it is with this journey, we can only see so far down the road but hopefully this will remind us to keep going and eventually we will get there.

What are other small changes you have done?

 and  

Happy 1/3 of the Way Eve to No Sugar, No Soda!!!