How Do You Track Progress?

Yesterday on Kathy's blog One Bad Apple Dish she said something that has been on my mind. 

"I've been on Laura's no sugar - no soda diet. One of the benefits may be that I have more energy and don't need to sleep as much. I'll keep going to see if this continues. As far as the weight goes, I am going to have to count calories. Even though I'm not eating sugar and drinking soda, I am eating too much. I've been replacing the sugar with other carbohydrates instead of vegetables and fruits. I guess I have to keep track of everything I eat in order to lose weight."

By the way Kathy has done great with the No Sugar, No Soda, even with a hubby we all love who tempts her!!!  Way to go Kathy!!  And if you have never read her blog, you should take a peak at it!!  She does a great job and has been my inspiration and encouraged me to share my story.  Which I have benn able to do more and more thanks to her.

Anyway, when I moved from Utah to Texas I sold everything including my bathroom scale that I loved!!!  Sometimes it was so discouraging to get on the stupid thing and see the same 40 lbs lost over and over again.  So last year when the weight started to come off I could tell it in my clothes.  I could see it in the pictures.  Some of my pants actually fall off me now.  I knew by the way my clothes fit I easily lost in the neighborhood of 70 lbs and I was okay with that.  I wanted to make sure I was not just tooting my horn so I wanted a way to measure this progress.  So today I decided to take the plunge and use up a Christmas Gift card and buy another  scale. I got the scale home and got on it and wanted to CRY!!!  Wahhhh!!!  The scale did not go high enough to weigh me.  Sad but true.  I look in the mirror and saw my little cheeks begin to flush red. It was the same story again and again. I felt like a failure and yet I knew I wasn't.  So yeah my bubble busted today!

I have contemplated all day as to what I was going to do with the scales.  Take them back?  Or keep them and use as a goal to get to.  I know there are other things I could do to measure my progress but I really wanted some numbers in pounds. Kathy mentioned how she had been substituting her no sugar and no soda with other things and they were not fruits and veggies.  When she said that, I took a good look at what I Had been eating as well.  I see all the things I need to do, write down what I am eating, and exercise.  For writing things down, I don't have a phone app where I can just put it on my phone (I know a louse excuse).  My friend Lisa told me about My Fitness Pal, I glanced at it maybe I need to look a bit harder at it.  As for exercise it is hard when you can't walk very far. Yet I know there are chair exercises I can do and need to start doing them. 

So I am curious what do you all do to track your progress? Do you go by the scales?  Count calories? I would be interested to know.

Are Our Emotions Eating Us Alive?

Being overweight is a touchy subject.  People have told me bluntly, "If you know you are overweight, why can you just lose weight?"  One friend even told me, "You are only overweight because you want to be."  This weight issue has always frustrated me, because it was my excuse and scape goat for EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE that went wrong.

I have never known what it was like to be small.  For me I came into this world over weight at almost 13 lbs I was told.  It frustrates me.  A friend once said when she saw my chubby baby pictures, "I love chubby babies, they are so cute!"  Why is it acceptable to love chubby babies, but not chubby adults?  Why can't people just accept us as we are?  The truth is as adults we are not accepted into society, because the people who are quick to judge have most likely never been in these shoes.

Before, all this would overwhelm me to the point I would give up and learned to live within society's snickers and laughs.  I have asked myself since beginning to drop weight, what changed this time?  I wish I had an answer, I think I would be rich!!!  Ha Ha  I don't, but I have seen a few observations.

There were two things I had to come to grip with.  One I had to accept the fact I was "obese" and not just overweight, big boned, or fat.  I was obese.  That was a hard word for me to say.  After all if I was considered overweight at only 20 lbs above my ideal weight, then maybe being called obese at this size was just a society thing and I wasn't really obese. Right? I could still walk and take care of my self and obese people I had seen on the news could not even get out of bed.  Yeah, I was playing with my mind.  So first of all I finally had to accept and tell myself I was obese.  According to reference.com, a person is considered obese if their BMI is 30 or above.  Between 25-29.9 is overweight.

I thought admitting I was obese was hard to do, but it was not as hard as the second thing. The second thing is not just one big thing, it is a million little things all together. But it all ties back to one thing, emotions.
I have a friend who has watched my weight loss journey unfold.  She talked to me about her daughter and her struggles with weight loss.  She made me stop and take a look back at life--again!!  Have you ever felt:

• Angry? 
• Hopeless? 
• Out of control?  
• Unappreciated?  
• Bored?  

If you have (and I am betting all of us have) what do you do?  I was all of the above.  The one thing that got me going was the "out of control" trigger.  Giving up sugar and soda was the only thing I could do to begin to have some control over my life.

Now I can go back on my life and see other areas I need to get a grip on and work on those as well.  My anger has pretty much dissolved by leaving the sugar alone it seems.  The hopelessness, with no job for almost two years (it gets hairy at times) but somehow little miracles show up and I am okay for another month.  I probably have the hardest time with unappreciated, I know I am appreciated and loved but I have a very hard time telling myself this.  A couple of weeks ago a friend at church called me on the carpet for it, "Go ahead say it!!  Say it!"  I just teared up,  "Say you love yourself Laura" I couldn't.  I am trying, and it is very hard for me.

I try to tell every person that will listen to me, this journey is not all about the food and exercise you do or do not do. Everyone has the perfect diet for me to try,  I remember I am on a journey and this is a life style change not a quick fix. It is only one piece of the puzzle.  We need to remember there are many pieces, and we have to continue to find those pieces we are missing and those pieces we have found where they go in our lives. 

This was me at 18.  Do I look like I am an animal?  Or that I need to lose 100lbs?  That's what I was often called and told.  At this size, I was referred to, as a cow, horse, ox and bull in a china closet.  I was about 190 at the time, so I thought everyone was suppose to weigh 100 lbs.  So as my life progressed, my weight was always an issue.  I was never good enough for anyone or anything.  Do you now see how emotions play such an affect on the whole weight loss cycle?

For those that have been losing weight Congrats!!!  For those who are struggling and not losing what they think they should, don't give up.  Take a look at these five emotions.  For me, I think that I need to tape them to my fridge as a reminder to me of why I am eating.  Remember this is a work in progress.  If sugar and soda overwhelm you, go with one.  Then the next step, is maybe to eliminate another.

I just want you all to know,  I know this is not an easy journey but the rewards at the end will be so worth it.  I was telling a friend today, one of my next steps is to get my hair cut and go back to wearing make up etc. She looked at me as though she wanted to ask "Why not now?"  and I said, "Because I am not there yet."  This is your journey!!  Don't let anyone else tell you how you are going to do it.  All I ask is that you not give up.  And if you get to the point you want to--remember to give back!  Find a way to serve.  I promise it will boost those emotions and put you back on track!!!

Don't forget to take before pictures to refer back to on this journey.

Thank you again everyone for reading the blog!!