Living In a Perfect Society.....

I was thinking about this morning, if you could have one thing perfect in your life what would it be?

Is it a perfect body?  Family?  Ideal job? Clean house?  Bank account?  What would it be?

This has been on my mind, because I am learning through my life that nothing is perfect although we always seem to strive for that.  But what is Perfect?  Is it what we set for ourselves, or do we tend to gear towards what society thinks is perfect?

Take our bodies.  For me it didn't matter if I was 20 lbs overweight or 200 lbs overweight I was still referred to as an animal.  I have been through all this before, because I was seen as an animal, that is how I saw myself.  Today, I can see how I have lost weight, and whiles others say "Great Job, Laura!"  there are those that look me up and down and then proceed to give me their advice of how I need to go on a diet, lose weight etc.  But it doesn't stop with just our self image.

I look at families.  I remember a family who lived up the street from us my mom would call "the baby factory".  Why? Was it because of the amount of children (who I believe had one or two more than she did) or was it because it was the society standard to go against those with large families?  What about the wayward teenager?  Too many times I hear a parent say, "my child would never do that" or "he is so out of control he is no longer my problem".  Why could it never be your child or why is he/she is no longer your "problem"?

I have had jobs that were great and I loved and believe I even once had the perfect job.  But sometimes things happen in our "perfect societies" that we need to re-evaluate and try again.  The key to all this I believe is not striving for a "perfect life" but to strive for a way that we learn to stand up for what is right for us, not what is popular by society.

I am a BYU Fan and yes I have been "JIMMERED"!  Just when we thought life was getting perfect for BYU Basketball a snafu was thrown into the mix.  The day after making a 3rd ranking in the polls, it was announced one of the players had been suspended from the team for an honor code violation.  Immediately it was all over the news.  What became interesting to me were the people (mainly younger generation) who said, "So what it was only pre-martial sex.  Come to our school, you can drink, party, have sex as much as you want and not be judged." The older generation seemed to give a high five to BYU that they stuck to the rules and everyone is treated the same.  The thing that impressed me the most, was it was the player who came to them and admitted what he had done.  Coach Rose went on to say we put our arms around him to let him know he was loved and to help him back. 

I saw this as a great service of love.  On Seniors Day, Brandon was there with the team on the bench in street clothes.  The fans were behind Brandon, letting him know "yeah we all mess up...you're just being slung through the dirt.....but we are right here for you!" When it came time to cutting down the net, Brandon had to be found to cut down a piece and received a "Standing Ovation (SO)".  The SO was not about what he had done that made national headlines, it was about he did RIGHT that brought everyone to their feet. 

I have thought about Brandon in the last couple of weeks.  He has taught me, "Stand up for what is right, not what is popular."  I apply this to my own life this way.  People do not need to tell me I am overweight, I know that.  But I also learned instead of sitting there and feeling bad about the lecture or "advice" that was given me, I need to speak up for a people that often is looked at as not being strong enough.  That is hogwash, we are strong!!  We just need to stand up and say so!

Part of losing weight is about what you eat, but it is not the WHOLE PICTURE!!  You cannot fix the outside till we fix the inside. That means becoming stronger people!! And it means not letting the words and actions of others dictate what we know is right for us, not for society.

Sometimes we are going to fall, we need to get back up and try again.  Sometimes we are going to let society get to us and question our abilities, we need to get back up and keep trying. So what would I want perfect in my life?  Not sure. I know now that my weaknesses will become my strengths, and I never want to stop growing!  I have decided I no longer need a perfect life or society to live with in, I just need what is right for me. 


Whew!!  Now I feel better, coming down off my soapbox!!

Life and Weight Loss Excuses!!

We all do them!!!  I think I lead the pack!!  Ha Ha  Here are some of the ones I found online are and ones of my own at the end.

My parents (ancestors) were overweight, so I am too.  

Great Grandmother

Grandmother

  We have to remember we are the one who chooses our own destiny.  Yes the genes play a part in it, but we are the only ones who can change who we are.  Here are some pictures of my grandmother and great grandmother. When I first saw these pictures, I thought yep I am dead meat!! On the left is my grandmother Grace Linn Moore, and on the right is Carrie Valls Schoenbohm.  I have their same body type!!!  I showed the picture to my manager who said, "Well we know where you body type comes from!"  So yes genes have a big part to play in our weight, but so does alot of other factors.  I am stubborn enough and determined enough to break cycles in my life and change me.

My Family Won't Eat Healthy Food.
We can't expect ourselves or our family to automatically go from eating junk food to eating a healthier diet.  It just doesn't work that way.  We need to find small ways to change our eating habits rather than big ones. I had a friend who used to have one green vegetable for dinner every night.  Those green vegetables varied, between green beans, broccoli, salad, brussell sprouts etc. I had a friend who added one new fruit to her vegetable each week. So think of little changes to incorporate to begin with. This reminds me of a story:

STORY TIME

My brother would easily go through a gallon of milk in a day or two.  Remember how I said earlier my mom used to tell us to slow down we were not going to a fire?  Well my brother could eat. She often said, "he can't be tasting what he is eating." My mom in all her wisdom decided to go with a cheaper milk and see if he could taste the difference.  For about three months he could not.  Then one day, "Mom this milk tastes funny!! I think it is spoiled!"  She tried to explain there was nothing wrong with the milk, it was just a different kind and not the whole milk.  He replied, "I can't drink this stuff it's gross!!!"  I don't think she went back to the whole milk and he had to get used to the 2% milk.

I have never been a milk drinker, although I do like and can drink skim milk.  And yes I can tell the difference between whole milk and skim milk!!  But the point to this whole story is, sometimes we just shove things in our mouths without even thinking about it.
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Adding little changes to our food is probably not going to be noticeable.  What small changes can you make to your food to make them healthier?

I Don't Have Time!
Don't get me started on this one!!!   Let's start with lunch at work.  By the time you go out to get lunch, bring it back and snarf it down, there is no time to enjoy lunch or even relax.  But if you got in the habit of making your lunch at night and taking it to work with you, not only would you be saving $$ but also you could relax and maybe go for a walk, or read a book or do something else besides run to get lunch and be stressed.  There have been several jobs where I have taken a 10 minute walk and then eaten lunch. I have mentioned before my water aerobics story and the success I had with it.  I had joined a website that had a message board and most of the replies were positive when I posted my successes. The keyword being MOST!!!  But one lady said, "I wish I had the free time you did to do water aerobics."  Hello did I miss something?  FREE TIME?  I left my house at 6:30 in the morning, worked all day, then drove straight to water aerobics after work, did an hour class, was lucky if I got home by 7:00 pm at night. And I was always early for work, because of parking and the 15 minute hike to my building.  It was all about changing priorities to make time.

I Don't Have Any Support.
I do understand this one.  I have said this before, I do not know what I would do without Erika.  On Monday I was a tad bit later than normal getting to the church and she had begun loading Audrey her daughter into the car to leave.  I showed up just in time!!!  We did our walk around the building.  She is my motivator.  And I have never had anyone like that before to really support me and make sure I go walking.  We could have very easily said, "Let' not do it today" but we were both there so why not do it!!  Do you have a dog you can take for a walk?  Maybe a neighbor or co-worker will go with you. Not take the neighbor or co-worker for a walk, (ha ha) but have them walk with you.  Remember it doesn't take much, you are just trying to change your habits and make small changes that will become bigger habits.


I Am Afraid of Regaining It All.
What is your thought on this?  This has never crossed my mind.  I guess because I have always lost the same pounds over and over.  Ha Ha This time it is going to be different.

All of the above is from the article "Weight Loss Excuses" on about.com.

Here are some of my own thoughts:


What will happen when I get thin?
Even when I have lost weight before, I do not have the mindset in me to think differently when I was thinner. Part of it becomes because even when  I was 20 lbs overweight, I was still referred to as a cow, water buffalo, horse etc. There was a time in my life where I had lots a substantial amount of weight.  I had gotten off a bus and was walking to a friends house when I got whistled at. I hurried to my friends house and it was all I could do to not cry.  Eventually I told my friend what happened and she said, "Laura that is a good thing" but I could never make myself believe that.  So that worries me.  Even if I was to get into a single digit size, I worry how I will be viewed and what would happen.  Whistles?  Name calling?  I don't think I could handle any attention and that bothers me deep down.  I know, I know, there are some deep mental issues inside there.

Failure
Also now, I can blame all my failures to my weight.  When I lose the weight, I can blame my weight anymore for my failures.

Do I Deserve To Be Thin and Healthy?
I have a very dear friend who is Diabetic.  I watch her struggle on a daily basis with her diabetes.  Today I was thinking to myself as I watched her check her blood sugar, why is it she has diabetes?  She is very trim and tiny and watches what she eats -- or at least I think she does.  And yet her diabetes is such a burden to her and her lifestyle.  I have been tested for diabetes on many occasions, and always told the same thing.  There is nothing wrong with me. I know that is not right, but they have to go off the blood work.  So I do what I can now and hopefully I will be able to dodge the bullet.

See for me this is all a mind game.  There is a book I am going to check into that is called:  Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person  I want to read this as I think it will help deal with the issues in my head.

So what about all of you?  What are your excuses?  How are you going to combat them?  Any advice from those who have met their goals and gotten to their goal weight?

Are Our Emotions Eating Us Alive?

Being overweight is a touchy subject.  People have told me bluntly, "If you know you are overweight, why can you just lose weight?"  One friend even told me, "You are only overweight because you want to be."  This weight issue has always frustrated me, because it was my excuse and scape goat for EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE that went wrong.

I have never known what it was like to be small.  For me I came into this world over weight at almost 13 lbs I was told.  It frustrates me.  A friend once said when she saw my chubby baby pictures, "I love chubby babies, they are so cute!"  Why is it acceptable to love chubby babies, but not chubby adults?  Why can't people just accept us as we are?  The truth is as adults we are not accepted into society, because the people who are quick to judge have most likely never been in these shoes.

Before, all this would overwhelm me to the point I would give up and learned to live within society's snickers and laughs.  I have asked myself since beginning to drop weight, what changed this time?  I wish I had an answer, I think I would be rich!!!  Ha Ha  I don't, but I have seen a few observations.

There were two things I had to come to grip with.  One I had to accept the fact I was "obese" and not just overweight, big boned, or fat.  I was obese.  That was a hard word for me to say.  After all if I was considered overweight at only 20 lbs above my ideal weight, then maybe being called obese at this size was just a society thing and I wasn't really obese. Right? I could still walk and take care of my self and obese people I had seen on the news could not even get out of bed.  Yeah, I was playing with my mind.  So first of all I finally had to accept and tell myself I was obese.  According to reference.com, a person is considered obese if their BMI is 30 or above.  Between 25-29.9 is overweight.

I thought admitting I was obese was hard to do, but it was not as hard as the second thing. The second thing is not just one big thing, it is a million little things all together. But it all ties back to one thing, emotions.
I have a friend who has watched my weight loss journey unfold.  She talked to me about her daughter and her struggles with weight loss.  She made me stop and take a look back at life--again!!  Have you ever felt:

• Angry? 
• Hopeless? 
• Out of control?  
• Unappreciated?  
• Bored?  

If you have (and I am betting all of us have) what do you do?  I was all of the above.  The one thing that got me going was the "out of control" trigger.  Giving up sugar and soda was the only thing I could do to begin to have some control over my life.

Now I can go back on my life and see other areas I need to get a grip on and work on those as well.  My anger has pretty much dissolved by leaving the sugar alone it seems.  The hopelessness, with no job for almost two years (it gets hairy at times) but somehow little miracles show up and I am okay for another month.  I probably have the hardest time with unappreciated, I know I am appreciated and loved but I have a very hard time telling myself this.  A couple of weeks ago a friend at church called me on the carpet for it, "Go ahead say it!!  Say it!"  I just teared up,  "Say you love yourself Laura" I couldn't.  I am trying, and it is very hard for me.

I try to tell every person that will listen to me, this journey is not all about the food and exercise you do or do not do. Everyone has the perfect diet for me to try,  I remember I am on a journey and this is a life style change not a quick fix. It is only one piece of the puzzle.  We need to remember there are many pieces, and we have to continue to find those pieces we are missing and those pieces we have found where they go in our lives. 

This was me at 18.  Do I look like I am an animal?  Or that I need to lose 100lbs?  That's what I was often called and told.  At this size, I was referred to, as a cow, horse, ox and bull in a china closet.  I was about 190 at the time, so I thought everyone was suppose to weigh 100 lbs.  So as my life progressed, my weight was always an issue.  I was never good enough for anyone or anything.  Do you now see how emotions play such an affect on the whole weight loss cycle?

For those that have been losing weight Congrats!!!  For those who are struggling and not losing what they think they should, don't give up.  Take a look at these five emotions.  For me, I think that I need to tape them to my fridge as a reminder to me of why I am eating.  Remember this is a work in progress.  If sugar and soda overwhelm you, go with one.  Then the next step, is maybe to eliminate another.

I just want you all to know,  I know this is not an easy journey but the rewards at the end will be so worth it.  I was telling a friend today, one of my next steps is to get my hair cut and go back to wearing make up etc. She looked at me as though she wanted to ask "Why not now?"  and I said, "Because I am not there yet."  This is your journey!!  Don't let anyone else tell you how you are going to do it.  All I ask is that you not give up.  And if you get to the point you want to--remember to give back!  Find a way to serve.  I promise it will boost those emotions and put you back on track!!!

Don't forget to take before pictures to refer back to on this journey.

Thank you again everyone for reading the blog!!